#mount Taylor

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Mount Taylor/Sierra Cibolleta/Tsoodził is a dormant stratovolcano (11,305 ft) in northwest New Mexico, northeast of the town of Grants. It is the high point of the San Mateo Mountains and the highest point in the Cibola National Forest. The mountain is sacred to the people of Ácoma, Laguna, Zuñi, Hopi and the Dinétah. Photo: Mike Rieman (2021)   ::  [Scott Horton]

* * * *

“On a day like this, when the fiddleheads are unfurling and the air is petal soft, I am awash in longing. I know that “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s chloroplasts” is good advice and yet I must confess to fullblown chlorophyll envy. Sometimes I wish I could photosynthesize so that just by being, just by shimmering at the meadow’s edge or floating lazily on a pond, I could be doing the work of the world while standing silent in the sun. The shadowy hemlocks and the waving grasses are spinning out sugar molecules and passing them on to hungry mouths and mandibles all the while listening to the warblers and watching the light dance on the water.” ― Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

+

“people of the modern world suffer a great sadness, a “species loneliness”—estrangement from the rest of Creation.” ― Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants

[confrontthefamiliar]

FULL MOON IN LEO

KAMBO CEREMONY:

-Do everything with full effort and concentration. Everything is a meditation.

-release old relationship codependent patterns

-believe in intuition

-wake up every morning with new habit: get out of bed

-meditate every morning

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO

BUT I COME HOME AND TINKER WITH MY PHONE AND DO MY CHORES HALF ASSES

I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HABITS TO CHANGE MYSELF

I WANT A FULL LIFE OF BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIPS

THE NEUROSCIENCE OF MELANCHOLY

IS IT REALLY JUST DIET

IS IT REALLY JUST ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS?

[kolkena]

On Saturday, I decided to climb up Mount Taylor in Cíbola County.

[xxbeyondangelsxx]

Alex & Henry ● Paris.

Source: Red, White, & Royal Blue/Amazon Prime

[illustratus]

Mount Orgueil Castle, Jersey by Henry King Taylor

[f1tales]

he was sunshine, i was midnight rain.

he wanted it comfortable, she wanted that pain.

pairing: mason mount x ofc!actress

summary: olivia is a rising tv/movie star. mason is a star footballer. he wanted a life with her, she was still making her own name.

author's note: i originally wrote this as part of a midnights writing challenge that i set myself. this is the only one i ever managed to finish, so i thought: might as well post it cause it's been sitting in the drive for way too long! i'm tempted to make the other ones as well now.. haha we'll see. enjoy x

warning: i suppose it's not the kind of happy ending everyone wants? idk..

face claim: none.

word count: 3.5k

“Oh my god, Liv,” Lina rushed into the dressing room. “Look what just arrived for you!”

Olivia’s eyes fell on the big bouquet of white roses that Lina was holding. Her eyes scanned the bouquet for a card. She had found it in no time. Not that she needed it, she knew exactly who sent her these flowers.

Mason.

“Uh,” Olivia stumbled on her words, “yeah just put them down there.” She motioned her hand towards the corner of the vanity. Lina frowned as she did what her boss told her to do. Olivia sat back in the chair, staring at herself in the mirror.

“Don’t you want to read the card?”

Olivia shook her head, “uh, no I’ll do it after I finish shooting my scenes.”

Lina sat down on the sofa. “I wish I had a boyfriend like Mason.” she said. “He’s always sending you flowers, picks you up after long days, takes you out on dates.” Lina sighed. “He’s honestly such a nice guy, Liv. I don’t think you’ve ever dated anyone better than him.”

Tears welled up in Olivia’s eyes, “yeah, I know.” Her eyes were now focussed on the script in her lap. “He’s great.” she whispered.

Olivia waved goodbye to the crew that night as she walked towards the car park. She rubbed her hands through her eyes. It had been a long day. But this is what she wanted. She had known ever since she was little. She knew she wanted to be an actress one day. And now that was reality. So, she couldn’t complain. 

She knew she couldn’t complain about anything. Her life was exactly what she wanted it to be. She was an actress, starring in her own tv series. Her boyfriend was the greatest man she had ever met in her life. She should feel complete.

But, she didn’t. Something felt off.

“Hello gorgeous.”

Olivia smiled; there he was. Perfect as always; wearing pearly white sneakers, a tracksuit and the most gorgeous smile. The blood rushed to her cheeks when Mason placed his soft lips on hers. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her head against his chest.

“Hey.”

“We should go,” Mason muttered, “people are watching.”

Olivia hummed. People were always watching. Mason grabbed onto her hand and led her over to his car. She smiled at him as he opened the door for her. She saw flashes going off as Mason closed the passenger side door.

“Have you eaten yet?”

Olivia simply hummed in response, resting her head against the window, “I’m tired. Can we just go to yours?” She bit her lip when Mason put a hand down on her thigh, his eyes focused on the road in front of them.

The young actress zoned out of the conversation. She faintly heard Mason talk about coming down to his match this weekend, his teammates would love to meet her. She didn’t reply, she just looked out the window. She had no idea where all of this was coming from. She didn’t understand how a relationship this healthy; how a guy this good to her, could hurt her so much.

Mason glanced over at the gorgeous girl in the seat next to him. He gently squeezed her thigh. He was so lucky to have her. She was everything he ever wanted; she was kind, sweet, smart, funny. She was the whole package. Yet she hadn’t felt like herself, Mason had noticed. Something was off.

After a short drive the pair arrived at Mason’s house.

“Go take a shower,” Mason told his girlfriend, “I’ll cook us some dinner.”

Olivia smiled at Mason, her heart melted at the sight of him. She hadn’t properly looked at him yet. Sure, she had noticed his royal blue Chelsea tracksuit and the pearly white sneakers. But she hadn’t noticed his messy hair, the sparkle in his eyes as he looked at her. She nodded, “okay.” She walked over to him, brushing her lips softly against his.

Mason placed a hand on her cheek, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Mason watched as she left the kitchen. He smiled, then turned to his fridge. 

Olivia smiled to herself as she entered the shower. She loved Mason, she really did. She shook her head as she washed out the shampoo. Why she doubted this so much, she would never know. The guy’s downstairs cooking her up a meal, for God’s sake! She let the warm water run down her back and wash away all her feelings and doubts.

With a towel wrapped tightly around Olivia walked towards Mason’s bedroom. She grabbed a pair of her underwear and tank top from her drawer. She opened the drawer beneath that to get a pair of biker shorts. She then walked to the bed where she saw one of Mason’s jumpers.

It was too big on her, but she had never felt more comfortable. She put on a pair of warm socks before she began her way downstairs again.

“Oh Mase,” Olivia wrapped her arms around Mason’s waist from behind him, “this actually smells really nice.” She stood on her tiptoes to rest her chin on his shoulder. 

Mason stirred through the pan of vegetables, “oi,” he chuckled, “have a little faith.”

Olivia placed a kiss on his shoulder before letting go of him. “It’s just that last time you cooked it didn’t go down so well.” she said. She grabbed a bottle of white wine. She poured herself and Mason a glass. She sat down on a high chair at the cooking island. She rested her head on her hands watching Mason cook.

Five minutes later the food was ready. Olivia sat crossed legged on the couch when Mason handed her a plate. Mason looked at the TV. He groaned, “no, Livie, not again.” Mason sat down on the couch next to his girlfriend. “We’re not watching this again.”

“Please,” Olivia pouted, “I love this film!”

Mason sighed, “fine, fine.” he grumbled. He placed the plate on his lap. He watched as Olivia got comfortable on the couch. She pressed play and for what felt like the fiftieth time that week How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days began to play on the TV. “It’s like you’re trying to lose me here, babe.”

Olivia smiled, her stomach suddenly hurting very much. She picked at her food as the opening scene started. Halfway through the movie Mason had fallen asleep on the couch with his head on Olivia’s lap. Olivia was still very much focussed on the movie as she played with Mason’s hair.

Olivia chuckled at the TV as Andie and Ben sang You’re So Vain. 

Mason stirred in his sleep. He opened his eyes, covering them with his hand to adjust to the light. He looked over to the TV and groaned, “is it still not over?” Olivia gave him a kiss on his forehead as she reached for the TV remote.

“Don’t worry, we can turn it off.” she said. She paused the movie then turned off the TV. “I’m quite tired as well.”

The pair cleared up their dishes. Olivia told her boyfriend to leave it all in the sink; she would clean them first thing tomorrow. Once in the bedroom, Olivia was the first one to get comfortable in the bed. Mason said he’d take a quick shower first.

“Mummy! Daddy! Wake up!”

Olivia blinked as the sound of a children’s voice woke her up. Two big, brown eyes were staring at her as she opened her own. She looked to her side; Mason was still fast asleep. “Daddy!” The toddler jumped on Mason. “Wake up! Santa was here last night!” The toddler shook Mason’s shoulder.

Mason slowly woke up, a grin creeping up on his face when noticing the small child that was now sitting on top of him. “Hey buddy,” Mason sat up in the bed and took the toddler on his lap. “Good morning.” he said as he kissed the toddler on the top of his head.

“Daddy,” the child pulled on Mason’s hand, “let’s go. There’s presents!” The toddler looked from Mason to Olivia with wide eyes. “Come on!”

“Okay, okay,” Mason laughed, “Mummy and I will get dressed first, okay?” Mason looked over at the confused woman in the bed next to him. Mason put the child down on the floor, “go put your Christmas sweater on, buddy.”

Olivia frowned, ‘mummy’. Why was he referring to her as this child’s mother? As far as Olivia was concerned the two of them did not have children. Nor would they have any in the foreseeable future. She watched as the toddler happily ran off to his bedroom.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Mason gave her a quick kiss on her lips. “You seem a bit dazed. Are you okay?” Olivia merely nodded in response to him. “Okay.” Mason got out of bed. As he was pulling a Christmas sweater over his head he said, “we should hurry. Theo will have opened all the presents by himself.”

Olivia got herself out of bed. She looked over at a dresser across from the bed; a few picture frames on top of it caught her eye. She pulled on the Christmas sweater that was lying on an armchair not too far away from the dresser. She grabbed a picture frame from the dresser.

Mason had his arms around her as she was wearing a beautiful, white dress. They were both smiling. They looked happier than ever. Mason’s hands were resting on her stomach, where she could make out the tiniest bump.

She put the picture down again. She picked up another, where she was laying in a hospital bed with a little blue bundle in her arms. She bit her lip as she looked down at it. In a picture frame next to the one she was holding, she saw Mason and her sitting on their very own bed. Mason had the little boy on his lap, but Olivia had another baby in her arms. The little baby was wrapped in pink.

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

Mason wrapped his arms around Olivia’s waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder. Olivia simply hummed in response as she put the photo back down. Mason pressed a quick kiss on his wife’s shoulder, “alright. I’ll go grab Skylar and Theo.”

Olivia only nodded slightly. She left the bedroom not long after Mason went to get their children. She wandered around the house. She opened every room, having a peek in what is now apparently her life. There was barely any glimpse into her past life.

No movie posters; no TV-show posters; no awards besides the ones she had won before her children were born; no pictures of her at fancy award shows. The walls of the house were covered with family photos. 

She smiled at them; they seemed like a happy family.

“Livie,” Olivia looked around, there wasn’t anyone there but yet her name was being repeated over and over again. Olivia furrowed her brow.

“Liv!”

Olivia’s eyes opened wide. Mason was staring down at her, his eyes wide and worried. He let out a big sigh of relief. Olivia looked around; she was in Mason’s bedroom. Her chest was rising and falling fast. She ran a hand through her hair. She frantically looked around the room. Her eyes fell on the dresser across the room.

Not a picture in sight.

“Liv, are you okay?”

Mason now sat in front of her, his legs crossed. “You were tossing and turning like crazy when I came out of the shower,” he placed one of his hands lovingly on her shoulder. Olivia flinched. Mason stared at her, his eyes full of hurt. She got up from the bed. She looked around the room, trying to find any trace of the children she and Mason seemingly had.

There were none.

“Liv, what’s going on?”

“I-,” she shook her head, “nothing.” She took a deep breath. She turned around to face Mason once again. He looked worried, she noted. And hurt. She smiled at him. “Just a bad dream.” She sat down on the bed with him. She placed her hand on his cheek, “I’m fine.”

Mason smiled slightly as Olivia pressed a kiss on his cheek. He watched her get back into his bed. He crawled in next to her not much later. He frowned when she tensed as he pulled her close. But then he smiled when she held onto his hands not much later.

“I love you,” he mumbled before pressing a kiss to her hair.

“I love you,” the words echoed through Olivia’s head for the rest of the night. She had pretended to be asleep when Mason had muttered these words. All the doubts she had earlier came flooding back and they weren’t letting her sleep.

Just before midnight, as she was falling asleep, she realised what was really keeping her up.

She couldn’t stay in this relationship with Mason.

two weeks later…

Olivia’s eyes fluttered open. She felt around the bed. Mason wasn’t there. She sat up in bed. “Mase?” she called out. She walked over to the chair in the corner. She pulled his blue jumper over her head. She found a note on the dresser.

She shivered as she picked it up. That damn dresser. Every time she walked into this room she still expected to see the perfect family pictures up on that dresser. Every time she was afraid that dream had become reality.

Gone to get us breakfast. Love Mase

Olivia put the note back on the dresser. A cold shiver ran through her body. “Would it kill him to turn up the temperature a bit..” she mumbled. She opened Mason’s sock drawer, looking for a comfy pair of socks to keep her warm. She picked up a pair of black socks. Her eyes fell on a green velvet box with a notepad underneath it.

Olivia’s heartbeat picked up, her hands began to shake and her breathing was uneven. The pair of black socks fell to the floor. She knew she shouldn’t, but her hand reached for the box. She gasped as she opened it. She quickly closed the box again. She got the notepad from the drawer.

Speech after speech was written on the notepad. Words, even full sentences, were crossed out. Her eyes scanned paper after paper. They all came down to the same thing. 

Will you marry me?

She dropped the notepad to the floor. With shaking hands she took the box and sat down on the edge of Mason’s bed. She looked at the beautiful ring that was inside the small box. A tear rolled down her cheek.

A tear of sadness.

“Livie..” Mason stood in the doorway, breakfast in his hand. “You weren’t meant to find that.” Olivia said nothing as she closed the box. She heard some ruffling and before she knew it Mason was in front of her. On his knees. He had taken the box from her hands. “This isn’t how I planned to do this,” he chuckled, “but I guess now is as good a time as any.”

Olivia looked away from him, tears streaming down her face. This was it. This was where it would all end. This was the push she needed to end things with Mason. 

“I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” Mason had tears in his eyes, but a smile on his face. Olivia’s heart broke at the sight; she had led him on for so long. She should have ended things when she first started having serious doubts about their relationship. She didn’t think she ever felt her heart beat this fast before. “Will you marry me?”

Olivia pursed her lips, her tears rolling uncontrollably down her face.

“Mase, I-,” she let out a big sniff, “I-,” her hands wiped the tears away under her eyes. “I can’t.” She shook her head. “No.”

It all happened so fast after this. The green, velvet box fell from Mason’s hands. He got up from his kneeling position. His hands were in his hair as he paced around the room. He watched Olivia walk around the room to gather her things. She put them in an overnight bag. She was crying as she told him she just didn’t feel that way about him anymore. Mason didn’t speak as Olivia pleaded with him to say something. He stood nailed to the floor. He stood lifelessly in front of her.

Just as she wanted to leave the bedroom, Mason’s voice stopped her.

“Tell me,” Olivia tried to look him in the eyes, but she couldn’t. Her heart ached. “If I had never asked you to marry me, would you have ever told me you didn’t feel the same?”

Olivia’s eyes darted towards the floor; she probably wouldn’t have. She couldn’t speak. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. That was all Mason needed to know as he curtly nodded at her. “Right,” he said, “well, don’t let me keep you.”

With her head down she headed out the door. That was the last time they would see each other.

Olivia and Mason didn’t speak anymore. She thought about him a lot for the first two weeks after they split up. She thought about him when she was laying in bed on her own at night. For the first time in years she was sleeping by herself. She focussed on her work, landing a role in a big movie production. She moved to Los Angeles, as far away from Mason and her past life as she could.

She heard he had found someone new. They seemed happy. This girl was living the life she gave away. The life Mason dreamt about while Olivia was making her own name; chasing the fame she wanted. From her assistant she heard that Mason had asked this girl to marry her; they would marry next summer.

Mason was happy. He met Lizzie in the coffee house she worked at, about five months after Olivia walked away from him. She was different. She was studying, working in the coffee house to pay for her studies and housing. Mason found himself coming back every other day, just to talk to her.

It took him a good month to finally ask her for her number. Lizzie made him laugh again; she made him whole again. She came to his games wearing his shirt; his name and number on her back. She wore it with so much pride. He dedicated all his goals to her.

Olivia never, ever crossed his mind. Except when she’s on TV.

Olivia sat on the couch in her tracksuit. Her make-up from tonight’s Oscar celebrations is still on her face. Lina was rummaging around in the kitchen, to make the two English girls a good cuppa. Mason was never on her mind anymore, except on midnights like this.

She would never tell anyone, but she missed him. She was right where she wanted to be, but she was alone. She looked at the golden statue that stood on her coffee table. She would have loved to have him by her side as she won her first big award.

“Hey,” Lina sat down with her, handing her the cup of tea. “What’s on your mind?”

Olivia simply smiled. Lina could read her like no-one else. “Nothing,” she shrugged as she took a sip of the hot tea. Lina simply raised an eyebrow as she looked at her friend. They didn’t need to speak; they both knew Mason was on her mind. “I don’t know,” Olivia shrugged again, “I guess sometimes we all get just what we want, no?”

She stared at the statue on the coffee table again.

“I’m just overcome by this haunting feeling, you know?” Lina simply nodded in response to her friend. “Trust me, I know I made the right decision years ago to walk away. Cause this,” she motioned her arm around, “this is what I wanted. Cause I never really think of him anymore.” she sadly smiled. “Just on midnights like this, I get a bit haunted by the what ifs and the what could have been’s.”

Halfway across the world, Mason snuck out of bed early. He was clutching his phone tightly in his hand. He looked at Lizzie, who was sound asleep on their shared bed. He quietly walked out of the bedroom and into the downstairs living room.

He sat down on the couch, opening his phone. He typed away on his phone, waiting for the Internet page to load. As he waited, he looked around the room. A picture next to the TV caught his eyes; a picture of Lizzie’s first sonogram last week. Their little baby’s first picture; a warm and fuzzy feeling overcame him.

His eyes widened as he looked down at the screen in his hand again.

“English actress Oliva Clark takes home her first ever Oscar Award for Best Actress.”

He smiled, “you did it.”

no part two.

[homoeroticgrappling]

Sorry I am still trapped here

[thatsdemko]

my tiny collection of works inspired by the queen herself, Taylor swift. 🫶

paper rings

cruel summer

this love

you are in love

delicate

Tim McGraw

I think he knows

lover

you belong with me

the story of us good riddance (part two)

the archer

you’re on your own, kid

[taylorssfilmsss]

NEW YEAR’S DAY

↳ PAIRING. Mason Mount x fem!reader

↳ WARNINGS. mentions of alcohol

↳ SONG INSPO. new year’s day by taylor swift 🫶🏽

masterlist! | requesting guidelines!

a/n!

so i got kinda inspired i guess with this song because i literally want to post as much as i can tbh. the last month or so i’ve not been very motivated to write but today i thought i should probably try to write at least so here ya go! also i did cut out some lyrics so it’s not the full song. love ya 🫶🏽

summary ! : reader goes to a new year’s party with her boyfriend

there’s glitter on the floor after the party

you where tired. exhausted.

you had slept over at your friends house with your boyfriend because of how much you and him had drank the night before.

you being the first to wake up out of the two of you. you got up and walked out of the guest bedroom and down the stairs.

the living room was a mess, trash, glitter, and red solo cups everywhere.

you had the worst possible hangover or at least you thought you did.

you had heard footsteps coming down the stairs you had turned to see who it was it had been you’re boyfriend mason.

girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby

he was carrying your heels you had taken off from the night before. walking over to you handing them to you.

‘wanna go home?’ was all he said as you nodded your head yes.

he grabbed your hand pulling you towards and out the apartment door and down to the lobby then outside to his car.

the car ride was short you both had gotten out of the car and was walking towards the home you two shared.

candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor

you and me from the night before but

don’t read the last page

he turned his key and opened the door for you.

you walked in, him right behind you. you walked towards the living room seeing candles, bottles of liquor, and polaroids of you two all over the floor from the night before, before getting ready to go to the new year’s party your friend had hosted.

but i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes

i want your midnights

but i’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day

an hour later the both of you had cleaned up the bottles, candles, and polaroids.

you both had laid down on the couch cuddling listening to the silence because both of your heads had hurt due to the alcohol the both of you had drank yesterday.

hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

and i hold on to you

please don’t ever become a stranger

whose laugh i could recognize anywhere

[larrylimericks]

6Sep23

Though Louis may think cats are shit, While out on a walk with his miss, H passed a feline Who fitly opined Its shrewd thoughts (and ours) with a hiss.

[89pedri]

The Great War

Based on The Great War by Taylor Swift. Mason Mount x reader. Fluff & angst. Word count: 1.4k.

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the lovely comments on my precious blurb thing. I’m glad you all liked it, so I hope you enjoy this one too. 🥺 If you have suggestions on what I could write about next, please send them to me.

“You did nothing the whole time, Mason. That’s what pisses me off. She was practically throwing herself at you, and you did NOTHING to stop her.” you told him for the umpteenth time that week, pacing back and forth in his kitchen.

“Babe, I already told you. She was not doing that, it’s normal for us to be that close together when we’re doing a photoshoot.” he tells you nonchalantly, as he stares at you from the stool he was sitting on.

The way he seemed to not care the way you did, or care at all, doing nothing to help the anger running through your veins. The way he seemed to give the same answer every day doing nothing to ease the fears running through your mind.

This whole fight had started about a week ago, after Mason had convinced you to go with him to shoot the cover of a magazine. What he had failed to mention, however, was that a gorgeous model would be in the photos with him.

Your relationship was relatively new, having recently celebrated your four month anniversary. In his defence, he had done nothing to make you question his loyalty, always reminding you that you are it for him. But, in your defence, your past relationships didn’t leave you any room for trust. You were scared that what you had with Mason was just as fragile as everything, and everyone, else that had come before him.

So you justified it. You justified your insecurities, you justified the anger you felt as he laughed whenever she whispered, whatever the hell she did, into his ear.

“You were giggling like a fucking maniac whenever she said anything. Surely NOTHING is that funny, Mason.” you raise your voice at him this time.

“Y/N, please,” he says as stands up from his spot, reaching for your hand, “I already told you to please drop it. The gaffer yelled at me today so I don’t appreciate you doing the same.” he gives you a look you’d never seen from him before. His eyes not having that same shine they usually do.

“No, you know what, Mason. What I don’t appreciate is you belittling me. I’ve told you this whole week how bothered I was by the whole thing.” you don’t dare to look at him anymore, as you pull away from him.

“What do you want me to do, Y/N.” he sighs. His voice full of defeat, sorrow. He sounded over it.

He sounded over you, you thought.

“What the fuck is there for you to do? You already let her flirt with you the whole time. When I was there, mind you. Who knows what you do when I’m not around.” you immediately answer back, mentally cringing at how jealous you sounded, but knowing you couldn’t quite control that feeling and how you were reacting.

“Please, drop it, Y/N. You’ve not only yelled at me but now you’ve also sworn at me. Please, please just drop it. I’m frankly starting to get tired of this bullshit, you’ve brought it up every single day this week and I already told you that nothing happened.” he utters, not being able to control his lack of patience at this point.

You stayed quiet, trying to think through the words you’d be saying next. It dawned on you how quickly everything has changed. From feeling like nothing could come between you, to now feeling betrayed.

“Yeah, you know what, this is the last time I’ll bring it up because you clearly don’t care. So, let’s just leave it at that. Goodbye, Mason. Consider yourself free of my bullshit forever.” you begin to walk towards the door, holding back tears.

“You don’t mean that, Y/N. I’ve already told you that you have to trust me more freely. Especially knowing how my career is. Take. It. Back.” he asserts, following you, reaching for your hand once again.

“Goodbye Mason.” you say one final time before mustering every bit of courage, or perhaps cowardliness, as you pull away from him to walk out of his house.

____________________________________________

It had been two weeks since that night with Mason. Since The Great War, as you had coined it. You had hoped that he would run after you. That he would show up to your house with 1000 roses, that he’d shout that he only wanted you to the rest of the world. But he didn’t.

And as much as it hurt, you understood.

You had had time to reflect on it all. The way you had reacted, the way you punished him for things he didn’t do. The way your egos were swinging at each other that whole week, the way she looked at him. How it felt that in a matter of days you nearly lost him.

But you also knew you were both too proud to reach out to the other first. You had really lost him this time, you thought.

Above all, you now had time to analyze, to intellectualize that dammed cover.

As soon as you saw it pop up on his instagram, you texted Sophia asking if you could come over. You knew that there weren’t many people who would let you be as irrational as had been for the past two weeks. Thankfully, she was one of them.

So there you were. Feeling sorry for yourself as you drank your third glass of wine and watched whatever Sophia had said her comfort movie was. You didn’t care enough to pay attention, just appreciating the fact that she was willing to be there with you.

The helplessness you felt as you saw the photos he’d posted, tearing away at all your edges. You can’t help but compare pictures that his friends had taken of the two of you to the highly edited ones of the magazine. Of course, the cover was a picture of him giggling as she whispers in his ear. The model, as beautiful as she was, didn’t look at him the same way you did. Mason, as big as his smile was, didn’t have that same shy look in his eyes as he did when you told a joke. It seems so obvious in retrospect, but every picture of the two of you was more genuine, more real, more actually in love.

You’re pulled away from your thoughts as you hear Kai walk into the house. Just behind him, you hear his laughter. The one you had missed, the one you needed like a lifeline.

“Shit, sorry. I swear I didn’t know he was coming.” Sophia tries to reassure you as she sees you stare at the door frozen in your spot.

He stops laughing at whatever it was as Kai moves out of the way and he spots you. Flashbacks of all the arguments you’d had leading up to that night coming to you in a blur. And you two just look at each other, for 10 seconds, 10 minutes, 10 days, you really weren’t quite sure. The look the two of you shared silently screaming everything you’d both been too stubborn to say out loud. I’m sorry. We’ll never do this again. If we can survive this, we can survive whatever. I’ll always be yours. I vow I will always be yours.

You stand up and walk towards him, taking uncertain steps, not knowing if he really wanted you again. You didn’t know what you were going to do, what you were going to say, you just knew that you had to be closer to him. So now, there you were, less than two feet away from him. You want to pour everything out to him, you want to tell him how miserable you’ve been without him. Selfishly, you want him to tell you that life’s also been hell without you.

But instead, he just reaches out for your hand.

And you crash into him. Pouring every single emotion of the past two weeks into that hug. Every single tear, every single time you yelled at your empty apartment, every single text you erased before pressing send, every single time you drove by his house to apologize.

And he simply holds you, bringing your hand to place a kiss. And as he looks at you, his eyes tell you just how broken and blue he’d been without you. And you smile at him weakly, telling him you’d always be his after having survived that, without needing to say much.

And you muster every single bit of courage you can as you whisper, “I really thought I lost you.”

[yoyokslut]

jude bellingham signed a t shirt for taylor swift, so mason you're next

[locitapurplepink]

You're On Your Own, Kid by Taylor Swift

I wanna say thank you for the bad batch fans to help me choose a song for this special gifset. So sorry it took awhile to finish it.

Taglist : @photogirl894 , @leosardonyx18 , @commander-tech , @queen-daya , @aesira-of-orion , @zaya-mo , @ambulance-mom , @aesira-of-orion , @thebadbatch2022 , @genericficerblog

Here's the result :

[kickinganddriving]

Hey so I was thinking of this Taylor swift song “Afterglow”, she’s a F1 driver and idk something happened and fight with mason but at the ends everything it’s fine

Notes: pinterest has been serving with the photos lately, this was my first time writing an argument and lets just say i NEED improvement. apologizing all day because this was so shirt, but it felt like that’s where it needed to stop. I wanna do a part 2 so just reply if you think thats a good idea!

Pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

Song Suggestion: Afterglow- Taylor Swift

Warnings: Swearing and Angst ig? 

WC: 900

I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue

Put you in jail for something you didn't do

I pinned your hands behind your back, oh

Thought I had reason to attack, but no

"Really? You want to go there, well we can go there Mason!" You and Mason are walking the very thin line between a small argument into a blow out fight.

"I'm sorry! But it feels like you're more focused on racing and your team than you are in this relationship. You didn't even notice that I visited my family for a weekend while you were at home!" Mason pleads in anger and concern for your relationship.

"And i'm sorry for that, but this week has been insane, we have the round 6 race in less than a week! When you have big games going on we don't see each other as much!"

"But at least I remember to talk to you and make sure you are still living and sleeping in our home!" His voice is slowly starting to rise as the intensity of the argument rises.

"Well i'm sorry that I fucked up big time? Is that what you want to hear?!" You say in such a sarcastic tone that it could almost offend someone.

"You know, maybe I should wait for you to act like a big girl so we can have this conversation and have you not act like a 3 year old!" Mason starts walking toward the door, but as he walks out you realize you were the one who actually messed up.

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

Chemistry 'till it blows up, 'til there's no us

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say

“Wait Mason!” He didn’t hear you. There was nothing left that you could do in the moment except cry and watch sad romance movies in the dark. So that’s what happened, midway through watching the notebook you heard the click of the door. You turned around to see if you could talk to Mason, but he walked so fast that all you heard was swift steps and the thud of your bedroom door.

At this point in time you knew you had to put your ego aside and beg for forgiveness if you ever want your relationship to move past this, which is all you want it to do. There is one thing you knew Mason could never say no to, that is a nice cup of coffee. So in an attempt for forgiveness you made coffee the exact way he likes it, not an extra grain of sugar, and not a drop less of his favorite creamer. Argument aside, you were quite proud of yourself.

“Hey Mase?” You say as you lightly tap the door.

“What?” The exhaustion in his voice was clearly heard.

“I made you coffee” just a few moments after you heard the click of the door lock, and the door opened to reveal a disheveled Mason with bags under his eyes and a slight frown. His hair was wet and he was not wearing a shirt so you could assume he just took a shower. You could not bear to see him like this, setting the coffee on the small table next to the door and giving him the tightest hug you could possibly give, he did not hug you back, which meant you really fucked up big time. You slowly pulled away and handed him the mug filled with coffee that was sitting on the small table.

 His dark brown eyes had never looked more exhausted, and he had a frown on his face as he said “What do you want?”

Hey

It's all me in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

But it's not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you

I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you

I need to say, hey

It's all me, just don't go

Meet me in the afterglow

“I’m sorry, this entire thing was all on me and in my head.” You saw his eyes light up just a bit, and you knew you were on the right track. “You don’t need to forgive me right now, but I just wanted to take responsibility for this entire thing, and I know I'm going to be in the doghouse for a while and have to grovel for a while, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

“It’s gonna take a lot of groveling” You hear Mason say with his usual cocky tone as he scrunches his nose and pulls you back in for a hug, after he sets his coffee back down.

“I am really sorry” you muffled into his bare chest, as you already found your hands tracing the familiar muscles on his back.

“I know you are, but I just need you to remember me even when you're busy conquering the W-Series” He says resting his chin on your head.

“How could I ever forget a boyfriend as great as you”

Meet me in the afterglow.

[xxbeyondangelsxx]

Alex & Henry ● Paris 2.

Source: Red, White, & Royal Blue/Amazon Prime

[jesssssssssica]

dress m.m

HAPPY VALENTINES GIRLIES AND GUYS!!!!! <3333333

no one knows what we do behind closed doors or even about the stares we give to each other, which last far longer than a stare two friends would give each other.

no one knows about the mark you've made on literally and figuratively, on my heart and on my neck.

he's also left an indentation of his body on my bedroom sheets and he's left his musky scent on my pillows and it's like you never leave me.

my skin is bare, but you are a golden tattoo as you've made such a big mark on me.

all of this acting i'm doing makes me feel sick, having to watch you flirt with some other girl that looks nothing like me and having to keep my mouth shut. my hands are shaking from having to hold back from just grabbing him

all you need to say is my name and time would stop. i don't want to be just your best friend, i want you more than that and i've only bought this dress so you can take it off. i want you to carve your name into my bedpost like you have to my skin because i don't want you like a best friend, i just want you to take my heart and my dress off.

you're just so addictive and to know you want me just as much as i want you i will die happily. when you kiss me and i taste the wine on your lips i feel drunk in love. yet no one has a clue about us.

but you're killing me mason with all of this silence and patience, flirting with other girls and leaving me pining in anticipation. my hands can barley stop shaking from holding back the temptation of grabbing you.

just say my name and time will stop. i don't want you like a best friend i just want you to take my heart and my dress off and i just want you to carve your name onto my bedposts like you have to my heart.

do you remember when we first met you with your buzzed hair and me with my awful bleached hair, yet even then you saw the best in me and you saw me go through all my highs and lows. even when i told all my lies, you saw through them and now as you lay by my side, your eyes shut and your lashes laying on your cheeks, i smile because you are my lifeline.

so just say my name and everything will stop, i don't you as best friend i want you as a lover. i want you to take my dress off and i want you to carve your name on my bedpost because i don't want you like a best friend, i want you as a lover.

there's already an indentation in my mattress in the shape of you and a mark on my skin and my heart and i've only bought this dress because of you.